I still find myself looking at the past with fresh eyes that I haven’t used in quite some time.  Every newly remembered thing is a gift.  Mom buying me toy match box cars when I got sick.  Singing songs with my dad.  Going on vacation together.  Locking mom out of her car.  Calling mom just to say hi.  Fishing with Dad.  Rowing mom and dad around the ponds.  They pop into my head and bring a smile to my face.

Sure,  I still have regrets.  Many of them.  All were preventable things and could have made mom and dad’s lives better by me, but we are all just human beings.  We do our best.  Screw up a lot.  And seek forgiveness.  That was one piece I got more often than not.  Giving and getting forgiveness.  Treating each day as a new one.  Forgetting past trespasses.  Hoping you had yours forgiven.  I will need to make the trip up to the old homestead pretty soon.  It will be hard.  It was the last time.  It always will be even when it is owned by someone else.  It will always be my home.  Summer isn’t summer without the sights, smells, and love that I felt there as a child.  As an adult, I try to find that simple life that I so took for granted as a kid.  I can’t wait to see them again.  I can’t wait to see mom and dad again.  To hear their voices.